“I’m just a…”

Posted on April 30, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

“I’m just a…”

Years ago my mother-in-law (a career educator) came for a visit. We strolled the neighborhood one evening, and I was able to introduce her to one of our neighbors, Susan.

During the course of our chat, my mother-in-law asked my neighbor, “What do you do?” Susan’s answer was, “Oh, I’m just a teacher in a small community in Ohio.”

Ouch!

As a former teacher, that’s a phrase that sends daggers through my heart. Those little words are powerful indicators of how someone understands the value of his or her position in an organization. That phrase frames the self concept and reflects a person’s sense of self worth.

Where do we get the notion that our work is “just a…?” Perhaps it comes from direct or indirect messages we receive from our supervisors or managers. Perhaps it is self imposed. Perhaps it is embedded in our culture.

Whatever the contributing factor, how we understand the value of our contributions is at the heart of our individual and organizational success.

Your work matters. If no one tells you so, find a way to remind yourself – on a daily basis.

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One Challenge of the ‘Job Description’

Posted on April 23, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

A friend of mine sent me a posted job description for my review and opinion. She was considering applying for the position, and she wanted to know my thoughts: “Do you think this looks like a good fit?”

Job descriptions serve a purpose; no doubt about it. It’s important for prospective applicants to have enough information to make informed decisions, and a well-written, thorough and authentic job description assists in efficient hiring processes.

Job descriptions can also pose challenges. One in particular? People can become identified with their job descriptions and therefore become limited in how their talents are utilized by their organization.

Several years ago I asked a group of fifty engineers to raise their hands if they thought their talents, skills and abilities were being fully utilized by their large automotive company. “I’m not asking if you are busy enough,” I said. “I’m asking if your company is fully tapping into your skill set.”

Not one person raised his or her hand.

When I asked them to consider the barriers, a common theme was, “My work is to remain within my job description. That’s how my success is measured, and that’s how I’m rewarded.”

In short, “Know your place. Work your space.”

A couple of weeks ago I listened as a manufacturing manager said, “I want him to do the job we hired him to do. That’s where his time and attention need to go.”

I understand that certain things need to get done in the workplace. Unfinished business and incomplete tasks don’t help efficiency. At the same time, how can we use a person’s job description to develop and utilize skills?

What are your thoughts?

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More on “Too Skilled to Lose”

Posted on April 14, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

This week I posted a comment about the challenge that comes with terminating skilled workers. My friend and colleague, Genevieve Daniels, responded with:

“I’ve worked in both environments, one where a co-worker’s behavior was addressed through being “let go” and one in which ineffective coworkers remained because of their technical skill set. In the first case, the culture of performance excellence was maintained. Although it was hard losing the person’s technical expertise, in a very short time period the team was able to recover and quickly moved on. In the second situation, accountability suffered. Higher performers became frustrated that management would allow this type of behavior. People were confused on what was truly valued. My response is as a leader, if you can’t coach the person to the team-player you need them to be, it’s time to make a change.”

Genevieve sums up my sentiment. Maintaining a coworker who is not interested in contributing to the health of a team results in distress, time, money, morale and credibility issues for the leader.

We are well served in the interviewing process to carefully explain expectations when it comes to team dynamics. Best to get ahead of this issue right from the start rather than dealing with the fallout later.

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Too Skilled to Lose

Posted on April 13, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

Lately, I’ve been hearing this conversation: “I know he (or she) is a difficult co-worker. We’ve tried to coach him to be a better team player…But the dilemma is that he has a skill set that we need right now and it would be hard to replace him. So, we keep putting up with him because he’s too valuable to lose.”
What is your response to this dilemma? We’ll weigh in after hearing your thoughts.

Posted in Case Studies, Conflict, Interpersonal Communication | 1 Comment

The Secret Power of Introverts

Posted on February 27, 2012 by Lane Pierce

Lane (Pearce) Pierce, daughter of Deborah Pearce, is a learning and development professional at Kohl's Department Stores.

A friend of mine recently posted an article on his facebook page that caught my attention. It’s from Forbes.com and is entitled “The Secret Power of Introverts”. In it, the author explains that the American workplace tends to favor, and even reward extroverts for being good team players.

My mom jokes that I came out of the womb with wide eyes, ready to interact. It was clear from the beginning that I was an extrovert. I do believe that my extroverted personality has served me well in the workplace. Almost every job I’ve held has not only encouraged me, but required me to be a “social” worker. Work has been comprised of brainstorming sessions, lively conversation and debate, even group development sessions where in a “war room” environment we rapidly create an end product over the course of a few days. I’ve seen colleagues with a more introverted style struggle with such social work. It is true that often the loudest voice is the one that gets heard.

Susan Cain, the author of Quiet, summarizes this personality issue in a very clear directive – It’s up to leaders to learn not only how to appreciate, but also leverage the diversity of styles within their organizations. It’s all about making people thrive, or as she says, cultivate people’s “best selves.” And someone’s “best self” is as individually unique as they are.

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Can You Hear Your Emails?

Posted on February 20, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

I’ve been thinking about several emails I recently sent to clients, and I’ve been wondering if my tone may have been misunderstood. In my haste to send a message, I think I may have neglected to listen to what I was writing. I saw my words on the screen. I didn’t listen to the message.

When I was a teacher, class members would complete this exercise…

Read the following scenario:

You have coordinated a blind date between your roommate and your cousin. The two have met for an informal dinner, and the next day you are anxious to see how successful you have been as a matchmaker.

You email your cousin: “How did it go last night? What do you think?”

Cousin’s response: “Your roommate is nice.”

How many ways can you hear that written statement?

Several weeks ago I had the good fortune of having dinner with several young attorneys. One man said it has become standard practice at his firm to wait a day when sending important email correspondence to a client. Write, wait, reread. In addition, someone else in the firm must read the email before sending it. I understand. Hasty correspondence that is misunderstood can be expensive!

One challenge before us is quantity. More emails, more texts, more calls come pouring in. What habits have you developed to effectively manage this explosion of information? Let us know.

Posted in Interpersonal Communication, Tone, Written Communication | 2 Comments

Thought-Filled Words

Posted on January 31, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

I watched the resignation of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords last week, and I was especially touched by her statement to the American public that was shown on YouTube the day before her appearance in Congress.

The road back from brain injury obviously is a daunting process. Relearning movement and relearning speech takes great courage and fortitude. I can’t imagine the steadfast determination one has to muster for the journey back.

What most impressed me was Ms. Gifford’s attention and care with each word. Every syllable was presented with precision, thought and careful selection. It was if the words were precious and fragile – needing thoughtfulness and conscious intention.

I thought about how taken for granted speech is. I open my mouth and flood the room with words. Sometimes I say something that deserves attention, I suppose. I also acknowledge the amount of time simply blathering on. Why not? I have words. Pile them on. Spew them out.

Can you imagine the state of our current political discourse if each public figure had to carefully select each word? Each word would come from a place of thought-filled-ness and practice? Only so many syllables would be possible. Each word would need to count for something.

I couldn’t take my eyes or ears off Ms. Giffords as she spoke. She demonstrated to me what it means to be powerful – even in the midst of recovery.

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Facework

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

I appreciate people who have mastered the art of “Facework.” These are your friends, colleagues or family members who are interested in keeping others’ humiliation and embarrassment to a minimum. If an innocent blunder could result in someone being embarrassed or self-conscious, this person is quick with a statement to diffuse any awkwardness.

I know such a person. He has a natural tendency to help others save face. If someone struggles with technology, he is the first to say that he is challenged as well. If someone loses his train of thought and stumbles with words, he responds with, “I know exactly what you mean!” In these instances, he is telling the truth! He is highly empathetic and willing to partner with others in mutual understanding. Being around this type of person is relaxing. No “be-on-guard-for-the-judgment” is needed.

Can Facework be used inappropriately? Absolutely! It is not OK to mend the humiliation of someone who needs to be accountable for significant misdeeds. It is not OK to make someone always feel good as my conflict avoidance pattern in the relationship.

However, in today’s time of caustic political rhetoric, I pause to appreciate those of you who are skilled in appropriate Facework behaviors.

I hope this is not a dying art.

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Why Are You Smiling!?

Posted on January 10, 2012 by Deborah Pearce

Happy 2012! It’s good to be back.

We have moved through the holidays, and I am reflecting on the social interactions that have taken place in the last weeks. I had an encounter that caused me pause, and I share it with you here…

In one particular instance I was involved in a challenging exchange of ideas. I held one point of view, and the other person, an older (in her eighties) woman, held the opposite position. When I voiced my opinion, she would listen and smile while doing so.

I found her facial expression to be REALLY annoying! Distracting… Off putting… I heard my vocal tone increase in volume. I felt I was being mocked!

It was only later that I paused long enough to look at this exchange from various points of view. Basically, I was caught in a common habit: We interpret nonverbal messages through our own mental models. Sometimes what we see can mean something else.

The study of facial expressions goes way back. Researchers analyze the smile as a universal sign of happiness. Smiles also can serve as emotional masks to such feelings as apologetic, appeasement, embarrassment, sympathy, awkwardness, etc.

I think my friend’s smiling behavior was a product of her cultural upbringing, her age and her gender. I think our conversation left her feeling uncomfortable. Rather than mocking me, I think she was (unconsciously) saying that the directness of our exchange was not in her comfort zone.

It’s 2012. I’m anticipating more incongruency in communication exchanges going forward. The world is more complex. My challenge will be to develop a new habit: Pause. Think. Ask, “What might I be missing?”

Posted in Case Studies, Generations, Interpersonal Communication, Nonverbal Behavior | Leave a comment

“None of us is as smart as all of us”

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Deborah Pearce

“None of us is as smart as all of us.” These words were uttered by the comic strip character, Pogo.

I recently thought about this sentiment as I was browsing through my old educational journals and saw a consistent theme: the power of learning communities.

What if true learning communities were the desired model for all our institutions: corporations, small businesses, law firms, religious institutions, law enforcement, politics, etc. What would we see that we are not seeing now?

We might see people engaged in a different way. They would listen differently, speak differently and seek the perspectives of others. People may have the freedom to say, “I don’t know, but I want to know, and I need your perspectives to help me clarify what I am supposed to learn.”

In order to create communities of learners, leaders must model their own curiosity. In so doing they will demonstrate, “This is a place where we are not passive. Let’s explore this together.”

Think about the workplaces that you would consider to be strong “learning communities.” What happens there that creates a collaborative, learning culture?

Posted in Culture, Interpersonal Communication, Teamwork | Leave a comment